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October 31, 2003 - 12:17 pm The Friday Tally, as it stands now: Krispy Kremes: 2.5 and counting Coffee: Immeasurable Cigarettes: Exactly enough Drama: Off the fucking charts Well, honestly, I suppose things could be more dramatic. But! I believe I’ve devised a method whereby I can solve all of my money woes. Are you a woman? Are you a woman with an ex boyfriend? Are you a woman with an ex boyfriend who, for whatever reason, wants said ex boyfriend to reappear in your life? For a small fee, we can help. We here at Burman & Burman specialize in making ex’s return. With a fully licensed and bonded staff, years of experience, and offices in the Chicago and Los Angeles areas, we’re ready to help you not move on. And if you sign up for our special Ex Return program now, you’ll receive this charming tote, perfect for stashing away mementos, the odd photograph or two, and cutely scrawled mash notes, at no obligation to you. A timeline: 3ish or so weeks ago: Inspired by alcohol, lust, and the desire for a spot of rebound fun, my friend Robin and I hook up and begin seeing one another, or whatever the kids call it these days when a boy and a girl enjoy kissing, whispering, and sleepovers. Last weekend: I’m over at her place. I meet her neighbor and former best friend of her ex. Shortly thereafter: Apparently, the former best friend calls the ex and informs him that Robin is enjoying her life despite his absence. Yesterday: Upon receiving this news, the ex manifests the symptoms typical to I Want What I Can’t/Don’t Have Syndrome, and calls her, telling her that he wants her back and all of the usual etcetera associated with this condition. I only know what I’ve heard through Robin’s own accounts, and after listening to tales of his bullshit behavior, I’ve come to the opinion that this guy is a shmuck. Robin doesn’t know about FadeIn, but it just isn’t classy to air out someone else’s dirty laundry, so that’s all I’ll say. All the same, he’s her shmuck, and he must have been all right at one point, I’m sure. Making it all the more hairy, they dated for three years, they just broke up a few weeks ago, and feelings are still, naturally, raw and present. He wants to see her, and they’re going to talk Wednesday. She and I have been keeping this thing light. Just the other night, we did a shot, toasting to “All in fun.” I’m not too attached to her at this point, so whatever happens, I don’t see myself ending up hurt. If they were to hook up or try things again, I could roll (somewhat, with some bemused eye rolling and headshaking) merrily along. All the same. Oy. What a hassle. And a shame, when you consider the potential. O, faithful longtime readers, remember when I was dating Sally and our biggest problem was whether to have Chinese or Italian? Rose colored glasses, of course. But, good lord, that was an easygoing relationship. If you’re an unfettered PYT who wants to make my life interesting without making it complicated, drop a line, because your type seems to be in short supply these days. In much better news, white/gray clouds, blue skies, and temperatures in the 50’s and 60’s make for a very happy Bill. California is surprisingly livable this way. Just in time for Halloween, too. You get the title of today's entry. Yes, you do.
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