n o w p l a y i n g - s c r i p t b i n - f a n c l u b - s t u d i o

make love to the camera



March 19, 2002 - 8:54 am

I Apply This Lesson To Video Games, Mostly

Hmmm. I have so little to write about today that I think I might actually make it to work on time.

I had a thought, though. Wouldn't it be pretty cool, if all of a sudden, everyone's location on earth was completely randomized? Imagine that you go to sleep, and next thing you know you wake up in Portugal and your roommates are some Scottish guy and a Saudi Arabian old lady, and none of you know what the hell is going on. I wonder what would happen.

At the very least, it would be interesting to watch everybody try to get home.

Although, you know, in a world with six billion plus people, statistically, there would have to be at least one person who was just a little bit randomized, and they would just end up next door. It would suck to be that person, I think. You'd be all confused for a little bit, sure, but then you'd open the door and see your familar apartment hallway. You would think it was a bit of a rip off, wouldn't you? I mean, the weirdest thing ever just happened to the entire planet, and you, damn your luck, get the most boring outcome.

I mean, when it was all over, you'd have the most boring anecdote. All your friends would tell stories about their wild adventures in Mongolia and Djibouti, and the friends they made, and their struggles to get back, and then they'd ask you where you ended up, and you would just have to mumble, "Next door."

So, you'd be all pissed, and you'd walk down the hall to your apartment, figuring you'll just make some coffee and watch the news, but then you'd realize that your keys are inside. You'd knock on your door, but, of course, there's some fat Russian inside going through your refigerator, and he's never eaten half a leftover Subway sandwich before, so it's not like he's going to help you.

Bastard.

So, I'm getting more comfortable in my singing class. Now that I know I can be a screenplay writing Saturday Night Live performing rockstar, what else should I take on? I mean, I suppose there's medicine and law, or maybe politics, but I'm open to suggestions. I think that founding a new religion could feed my ego for a bit, and being a cult leader would be a great way to meet girls. Then again, I'd really like to take a crack at the Unified Theory.

It's my mom's fault for telling me I could do anything.

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