n o w p l a y i n g - s c r i p t b i n - f a n c l u b - s t u d i o

make love to the camera



November 12, 2003 - 10:38 am

Unlawful Carnal Knowledge

The most interesting part of work yesterday centered around a discussion of my penis.

Well, to be accurate, we didnít really get into its ins and outs. No one asked me how it was, or what it was up to these days. We didnít even discuss any distinguishing characteristics. My penis was only touched upon lightlyÖuh, in a conversational sense.

Whoís uncomfortable? Penis. Penispenispenis.

OK, I am.

Someone in this office knows someone I once dated, and therefore knows more than she should about the aforementioned appendage.

She swears sheís only heard good things, but I have a suspicion that Cosmo has taught you girls to say that no matter what the case.

It only makes sense. I canít see an advice article telling you ladies to say anything to us like ďWell, sure, itís a bit smaller than average, but I think youíre a really snappy dresser, and nice to your mom!Ē I know that if I myself were writing an article, I would advise any ladies interested in the penis sticking around to say only complimentary things regarding it.

I feel as if thereís any entry in which I should get all my penis material out there, this would be it, but Iím not sure (lucky for you) if I have any more in me.

Anyway, at one point, one of us wondered aloud whether it was really true that women are much more graphic in their descriptions of sex than men are. Oh yes, the woman in our conversation readily agreed, it was absolutely true. Women tend to get downright nasty and detailed during this type of discussion.

This is where Iím confused. Iím a guy (as you may have surmised from the reference to my penis), and I know that when I talk to my guy friends and tell them stories of activities, we are fairly descriptive. I mean, we donít sit there and chart out locations of moles or anything like that, but when we tell a story, we include all the pertinent information.

So what are we leaving out?

Iím having a hard time reasoning out how descriptive women can get. What details do you get into that we donít? Is it a lack of imagination on my part that I canít really fathom deeper descriptions that donít involve mannequins, pie charts, and police sketch artists?

What the hell are you women talking about?

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