You know, I've been thinking a bit lately.

And, I know this is out of nowhere, but I've been thinking about the little joke Jonny and I pulled.

To everyone who was offended: I'm sorry I played with your trust.

It was never a test of friendship, trust, or intelligence. It was never a ploy to see who my real friends were. It was never something I did with intentional malice to anyone.

For me, at least, it was something that was fun in the moment. But there are certain people who I think ended up with hurt feelings that I never wanted to hurt. If I had given this a bit more thought, I might not have done it.

I really did think that the prevailing reaction would be "Oh, those wacky guys." And that would be that.

But I realize that there are people who have been reading me now for a long time that I never gave any reason not to trust me, or not take something I said at face value. I've taken you people across the country with me, from one life to another, and slogged you through all my highs and lows. You were with me, you trusted me, you rooted for me.

I should have treated you better.

It's easy to forget sometimes that, even though all this diaryland stuff takes place on the internet, there's a real person behind every page. And yes, what we do here and what we write here really doesn't matter very much. It's all goofy and masturbatory and ultimately meaningless, and to someone outside of us, what I'm writing in this entry probably seems psychotic.

What really does matter to me, though, what really does matter is the people who make these words. I've met some of you, talked to you on the phone, and developed weird relationships that play out mostly through email and instant messages. Still. When I think that I made people I like and care about unhappy, even if I only know them through their little diaries, that makes me unhappy.

And I know that I am being so sincere here that it's embarassing and I think I'm experiencing, and likely causing, actual cringe-y physical pain. But I'm almost done.

The bottom line here is: I like you. And, if I hurt you, I'm sorry.

That's all.