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January 12, 2002 - 3:16 pm

I Barely Remembered My Own Name

Good lord, people. Friday I was so hungover that I completely lost the ability to function as a human being. Thursday night, I knew it was over when I was forced at gunpoint to do two grayish-green shots within the span of ten minutes. On top of bourbon. And three different types of beers. I believe that I had maybe a dozen drinks overall. When I got home, I was like "Didn't I have sixty dollars in my pocket at some point tonight?'

A loose collection of singles on my counter now mocks me.

Anyway, this is an unedited email from Judd Apatow's mailing list. In it, he touches on the possible demise of 'Undeclared,' invokes the name of Paddy Chayefsky, and predicts the end of civilization as we know it. If you care at all about whether 'Undeclared' survives, read this and do as the man says.

"Greetings friends,

I hope you liked the "So you have a boyfriend?" episode. We shot it in

December 2000. Seriously. It was so long ago that I had all my hair back

then. A third was re-shot in the summer of 2001. That's how crazy our

production schedule has been. The shows are pretty much in order starting

this coming Tuesday with one weird out of order one coming very late in the

season. Thanks for making all the noise. Please continue, it really helps.

We finished shooting the season last night. It was weird, fun and sad. It

is always awful to end a run of shows not knowing if you will ever be

allowed to make more. People are not sure if they should cry or not. It is

like the last day of junior year of high school if nobody knows if there

will be a senior year. "Should we all get drunk, go home or trash the

school? But we may be back. This sucks!" I chose to go home at the end of

the night and go to sleep with the help of an enormous amount of Tylenol

PM's...and boy do I feel fresh this morning.

Anyway, all of the new shows are really funny (to me). We are all very

proud of the work and hope we get to make a lot more. TV Guide does an

issue every year, "Best Show You're Not Watching." I have always thought

that if we were named that, we would survive. So if you're looking for new

people to write, please write them. They have always been very supportive

of the show.

I just heard ABC is taking off "Spin City" and putting on a new game show

called "The Chair." In it they will put a contestant in a chair and screw

with his mind in different ways as he attempts to keep his heart rate down.

So basically they've turned "Clockwork Orange" into a show. And this comes

from ABC, the people who bring you Mickey Mouse. The people who control TV

are scared and desperate right now. ABC is suing Fox because they have a

new show called "The Chamber" which ABC says they stole from "The Chair."

The only thing worse than a crappy show which Paddy Chayevsky couldn't have

conceived in his worst nightmare, is two mega-corps fighting over who

thought of the crappy show first. Well, this is the world I must navigate

and I must be honest, I'm running out of gas. But hopefully "Undeclared"

will live to see another day and we will continue to be allowed to tell

stories which make us feel good to be human beings for a moment. If that

fails they can strap me into The Chair and fill The Chamber with bullets and

we can play Russian Roulette. You know that can't be far off. Oh, I forgot

to tell you, "Russian Roulette" is also a new show you will be seeing on

the air in the coming months (this is not a joke). Thank God for TiVo. At

least now we can make all the crap go away.

Thanks again,

Judd

Best Show You're Not Watching

TV Guide

Editorial Department

#4 Radnor Corporate Center

Radnor, PA 19088

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