Today, I�m wearing a light blue, long sleeved, kinda tight v-neck, which a gay co-worker of mine described as �slutty.�

Hot.

I love the Chili�s commercials. They always feature a group of people playing music in an ode to their favorite restaurant, Chili�s. At the bottom of the screen is a graphic with their names and relationship, like �Frat Brothers,� or �Cousins,� or �Really Close Since That Boating Accident.�

The commercials present these people as having spontaneously come together to play songs about Chili�s. I can relate. Just this last weekend, my roommate, my mom, and our Rabbi were all sitting around just bullshitting, and my mom�s like �You know what are good? Those onion blossom things.�

Simultaneously, the rest of us shouted �From Chili�s!�

Next thing you know, Mr. Baumgarten broke out his zither, and with me on guitar and my mom and Jonny harmonizing, we came up with this really cool jam we decided to call �Love Blossoms.�

Then we all started talking about Mayim Bialik, on whom I had a huge crush in high school.

True story.