I'm in a crisis situation here.

I'm serious. Everybody come over. Due to a recent sale at Jewel and a miscalculation on my part of my freezer contents, I now have three two pound bags of tater tots in my freezer.

That's six pounds of tater tots.

Sure, I know I said just last week that tater tots are remarkable as a Hangover Prevention Device (HPD), but really, I don't drink nearly that much. Do you know how hard it is to incorporate tater tots into regular meals? When I cook, I'm usually making a stir fry or other rice dish. Traditionally, Chinese food and tater tots do not, as they say, go.

Last night: I had Cavatappi (a fancy word for 'all crazy corkscrewy pasta') and marinara sauce. Just to reduce the number of bags of tater tots in my freezer to three, I had to have a tot-etizer, or tater tot appetizer. Earlier this week I went to my local mom & pop Vienna beef hot dog stand, and forced them to not give me fries with my polish sausage.

There was a hot dog documentary on public television Sunday night, and I was in the mood.

So, I came home with my hot dog and microwaved some tots. It was really, really tasty actually. But, like I said, as of last night, I still have six pounds of bite sized potato goodness.

I'm open to suggestions.

Continuing our journey through the FadeIn Food Section: I felt really smart earlier this week. I bought me some Chocolate Covered Pretzels. It was a fantastic purchase, and it brought me much joy, I tell you what.

Then, last night, I wiped away all that self esteem. Experimentally, I tried to make a poor man's Chubby Hubby Ben & Jerry's ice cream by combining the chocolate covered pretzels with some vanilla ice cream, peanut butter, and Herhsey's syrup. The result: A spectacular failure, made even more devastating by the loss of so many of my precious pretzels.

Never let it be said that I can't get deep, and admit my personal shortcomings.

I also have things to say about the general crisis in the Mideast, and the movie 'Kissing Jessica Stein.' However, at this point, my opinions on those topics constitute nothing more than a 'rant,' really, and that's just so internet. Therefore, I resist.

Although, I will say that I find one of them bafflingly complicated in the extreme, and the other cute, if a bit predictable and precious.

Like, the part where Arafat realizes he isn't gay after all. Yeah, I didn't see that coming a mile away. Fucking Hollywood.