Everything seems to have been said about that new Ginger-It-Segway scooter invention. I myself think that they won't be that successful. Because, if you're in a gang, and you want to be cool, I don't think that you and your homies should buy a fleet of scooters.

"Hey, Jim, here comes the West Side Segway Crew! They're bearing down on us at 12 terrifying miles per hour! We best keep our pace brisk!"

Not too scary.

So, yesterday is behind me. I felt pretty crappy. Obviously. I guess that one cool thing about Diaryland is that people leave messages of absolution in your guestbook. Which got me thinking: If those wacky Brits can make 'Jedi' a religion, we should do the same. "D'landism." Doesn't that just read like a nice, exotic alternative to Christianity we can all get behind?

"Forgive me, father, for I have sinned. It's been 2 weeks since my last entry."

"You are forgiven, my son. Sign 10 guestbooks, leave 6 notes, and write 2 emails. Go in peace."

You can blame German philosopher Immanuel Kant for my short entry today. Because he opened his big yap 150 years ago, I have to spend the morning writing a paper. I hate his guts.