Complete honesty? OK!

Human beings are funny things.

For the past three weeks (since I've moved, essentially) I've been pining after a relationship I was very active in ending, I was originally content to lose, and that if I had back right now I wouldn't know what to do with.

It's a recipe for fun.

Add that to the fact that I'm virtually alone in a new city, under a tremendous amount of stress from all the work I have to do, and that she�s just started to see someone else, and we begin to have an extremely unhappy Bill.

Awwww.

These factors in combination can lead to several conditions, diagnosable by the brain doctors as �psycho-osity� and �drive-yourself-crazy-itis.�

Symptoms can include too much thinking, long bouts with confusion and sadness, inability to focus, and nausea.

These symptoms are often exacerbated by imagining events that it does not at all help to imagine, seeking information that you�d be better off not knowing, and exposing yourself to the harmful effects of anything remotely �romantic.�

There are very few remedies for these kinds of conditions. One would think that they might be cleared up with a little over the counter �common sense-o-dyne� or 100 mg capsules of �rational thinking.�

That, unfortunately, is hardly the case. It is only a temporary fix to reason to yourself that this just as easily could have happened in reverse. Additionally, you eventually build up a resistance once you become self-pitying upon realizing that she has had every possible opportunity for the �getting over it� process to begin, including having a friend visit, being busy with work and her social life, and randomly coming across a new boy to hang out with.

You, on the other hand, moved to a city where you didn�t know anyone and then were given six million tons of work to do.

This malady is often accompanied by such confusing little viruses, such as �Would I care if she weren�t seeing someone?� and �Wouldn�t we really be back where we started when we broke up if she were here?� and �What do I really want, anyway?�

Modern science can treat this condition, but the cure is often as bad as the disease. Heavy doses of �moving on� and �graceful acceptance� must be administered over a long period of treatment. These are, however, jagged pills, and not at all little.

Some folk remedies can include beer and strippers. In extreme cases, these may be considered.