I'm updating long after the offices of the east coast and midwest have closed. California still has a chance to read this, if someone's bored at 4:55 pm ET and I'm fast, but that likely won't be the case.

How much attention do you pay Diaryland once you're no longer bored at work? I usually check at night, but not that late at night. If you update after 10 pm, you become part of my morning reading. Actually, Diaryland is a blessing in that it's one of the two things I can enjoy reading while drunk. The other thing is The Onion.

You have one man to thank for this entry. Governor Ryan is pre-empting the Simpsons to announce his retirement, or death, or a bowel movement, or something. If not for him, I would not be here at this moment.

Now watch him quote that out of context. Damn him.

So, my new job: Yeah, it's fine. Sweet Perk #1: After 32 hours in a week, I'm suddenly working at OT rates and thus getting time and a half. Don't know why, and it's a gifthorse I'm not going to look in the mouth, I tell you what. Crushing Disappointment # 1: No internet access during the shift. Bar-fucking-baric! The front desk is equipped with a couple of computers so old, I can't even locate their brains. They are just monitors and keyoards. They beep when you press a key.

Work Mystery #1: Ana.

Ana isn't her real name, it's just the last three letters of it. Her full name is something very long and very Polish, something like Kolkuwarskinkyana. She also has a last name attached to that, for some reason or the other.

She's a strange bird, that one. She is stunningly, disorientingly gorgeous. Let me give her to you now: She is about 5'9'', which makes her a bit shorter than me. She has a body that was given God's personal blessing to model bikinis. And maybe she does, because she is very tan. She has long, wavy dark hair with a few gold streaks running through it.

She is also, I suspect, a robot. That is, she doesn't seem to have much of a personality. The most bizarre way in which this manifests itself is that she refuses to look at or talk to me.

Now, I know what you might be thinking, and you're wrong. This isn't me coming out to whine that the pretty girl won't pay attention to me. In the past, I've been both ignored by and paid attention to by girls just as gorgeous. I can live with it either way, as I am a big boy now, and the focus of a beautiful woman isn't going to psychically make or break me.

I'll leave that to my career.

But the weird thing about this Ana creature is that, like I said, she's doing more than omitting just another shmuck from her radar. This chick seriously goes out of her way not to have any contact with me. She can't look at me when she talks to me, and when she does talk to me, it is nothing but business related. It's disconcerting, because I like to relate to new people by joking around with them, and that's pretty hard to do when they can't even glance in your direction without looking away instantly.

Good Lord. Guess what? True story: The next thing I was going to write was going to be "I've seen her interact pleasantly with other people, so I know she's capable of it. The fact that she seemingly can't do it with me is baffling."

Right before that, though, a little voice in the back of my head said "Hey, maybe she's very shy around new people."

Yeah, I'm an idiot. I'm also too late for California.