I am going to take it as an extremely fortuitous sign that, as I was looking for nine index cards this morning, I found a stack of precisely nine index cards in my closet, just where I thought they might be.

I am also going to take as an extremely fortuitous sign the fact that when I went to get thumb tacks in order to apply these cards to my wall, precisely nine of those tacks fell to the floor when I opened the box.

I am going to take it as a disheartening sign that the goddamn thumb tacks are being a bitch about staying stuck to the outside closet door.

(As of this time, it is unknown whether or not the fact that The Pixies' 'Monkey Gone to Heaven' was playing at the time has anything to do with anything, but it might. If only God were nine rather than seven)

Only my girlfriend and Kate have any clue as to what the fuck I'm talking about.

Hopefully, in less than nine years, the rest of you will know as well.

Seems like a good point at which to laugh maniacally.

Fuck, this is obnoxious. Blame this entry on coffee.