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October 11, 2003 - 1:11 pm

Let's Go Crazy, Broadway Style!

Walking out into the living room this morning, I took a glance at the television and asked my roommate "What's that?"

"Oh, it's Oliver," he said.

"Ah. For a second there, it looked like Gangs of New York."

Big fat lightbulb.

"Hey, I wonder if GONY could be improved if it were a musical," I ventured. "Couldn't hurt."

Here's the song that introduces us to Leonardo Di Caprio's character.

GOTTA KILL BILL

I gotta kill Bill! I gotta kill Bill!

If I don't do it, no one else will!

Years ago he took my father's liiiiiiiiiiiiiiife!

Now I gotta stab him with my knife!

Cameron Diaz would have a song about how she's a great thief and can steal anything, but, of course, no one can steal her heart. I refuse to even bother to pretend to write that song.

This is the song for all of the immigrants who come off the boat toward the end of the movie.

THE IMMIGRANTS' THEME

Fresh off the boat, never been in a ri-ot,

They'll give me three squares a day, so I may as well try-it!

I've got this uniform and a flintlock gun,

I'm Irish and policework sounds like fun!

It has now become musical day. I've been watching 'Nightmare Before Christmas' and signing along all morning, and Jonny seems to be working his way through Cabaret at the moment.

Jokes? Do your worst.

Last Time On FadeIn - Next Week's Show

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