Well, I just got a Google hit for �feel like ghost is sexing me.�

I hope that person finds the support they need.

Jarring change of subject: The last sentence of my last entry turned out to be somewhat prophetic.

I got fired.

Yeah!

The bastards fucking fired me!

I found out last Wednesday. It was my delightful thanksgiving treat.

I came home late on Tuesday night after my improv class. There was a message from my boss. She said that she needed to talk to me and it was very important.

If she had simply needed me to come in at a different time on Monday or something, she would have simply left that in the message. So, I knew something was up. At that point, I knew what was coming, but I didn�t know.

It was a lovely state of limbo in which I went to sleep.

The next morning, she called and said that �it wasn�t working out.� I felt a mild sense of surprise. It was like a breakup you aren�t expecting, typical breakup lingo and all.

I wish I could say that I got downsized. I wish I could say that The Mouse was doing some cost cutting and decided to clean up the waste in the Magic Kingdom. But, no. This wasn�t a case of �it�s not you, it�s me.� This was a case of �it�s not us, it�s you.�

She gave me her own rationale for giving me the axe, but, really, these are the three main reasons I got fired:

1: I never became friends with my boss. I did my job and kept to myself. The other PA�s kind of managed to develop a relationship with her, but I never did. I became friends with most of the writer/producers, but I really just never connected with my boss.

The biggest example: We PA�s had to go out and get coffee for the office every day. Most people in the office have items that they regularly order, and my boss was one of them. The week before I got fired, it was my turn to go out and get the coffee. My boss wasn�t around, so I figured I�d play it safe and get her usual small black coffee. If she didn�t want it, no big deal. It�s not a four dollar Double MochaMintachino or whatever. It�s an 85 cent black coffee.

When I came back I presented her with the coffee. Her reply: �Bill, if I�m not here to order a coffee, don�t get me a coffee. OK?� The way in which she said it was cold, but whatever...fair enough. She didn�t want coffee she didn�t order, and I didn�t think much of it.

Last week, one of the other PA�s went to get the coffee. He did the exact same thing I did, and presented my boss her coffee in the exact same way. Her reply: �Oh, thank you so much! You�re such a sweetheart!�

Well, that made me feel special.

2: I felt kind of frozen out by my officemates. I remember my first day. I work next to two guys all day long, and on my very first day they asked me who �my teams� were. If you know me, you know I don�t follow sports at all and really don�t care about them. I told them that I wasn�t a big sports guy and that was pretty much that. I never really felt as if they fully let me in after that. At first, I was kind of disappointed, as I naturally wanted to like and be liked by the people I spend my days with, but, after a while, I just accepted it and settled for the fact that, fine: I could apparently work with these people, but I couldn�t be friends with them.

3: I spent too much time on the computer for their tastes. Like every job, there is occasional down time. During down time, the Sport PA Guy would go down the hall and spend hours playing darts with the writers. The Girl PA would sit at her desk and read fashion catalogs and magazines. I, being the dork that I am, chose to go and sit in front of the office computer and check my email or write. Apparently, my boss� immediate higher-up thought I was working whenever I sat there. When he found out last week that I wasn�t, he �blew up� in my boss� words.

I didn�t bother to ask why using the computer was somehow less acceptable than playing darts or reading magazines.

And that�s the skinny. My office cohorts apparently didn�t much like me, and they subsequently found reasons for me not to be there. I almost feel like I was �Survivored� out of my job.

I don�t really feel bitter about this. A little surprised, for sure. I mean, I don�t get fired. It�s not something that happens to me.

It�s unfortunate, too, the timing. The holidays and all. And I have some big money crunches on the horizon.

I have no idea what the next step will really be. I�ve been puked out the bottom of the entertainment industry. I am now just another jobless shmuck in Los Angeles with stars in his eyes.

As bad as losing my job is, all the new possibilities are kind of exciting. It�ll be interesting to see what happens. The one thing I do know for sure is that I�m not ready to head back to Chicago just yet.

FadeIn will be broadcasting live from Los Angeles through at least the end of July 2003.

If worse comes to worst, my porn name is Bosco Wolcott.

Keep an eye out.