There's an episode of The Simpsons in which a guy holding a cardboard box goes to a bottomless pit. As he throws the box in, he says to himself "I was a fool to think anybody would pay for nude pictures of Whoopi Goldberg!" A moment later, the box flies back out of the pit.

That's all I can think about now when I see that woman.

Over the weekend, I read an article that said that Chevy Chase was widely regarded as one of the worst Oscar hosts of all time. I don't remember seeing the Oscars that year, so I can't say. I do agree with the author of the article, though, when he said that Chase got in the best opening line:

"Good evening, Hollywood phonies."

My last Oscar observation: I will hate Russel Crowe forever. His humorless response to Steve Martin's jokes last year is simply unforgivable. Crowe will be winning a lifetime achievement award before I tolerate him again.

Also, I saw a Biography on Crowe this weekend: His band sucks.

During the Oscars, Fox was showing the movie 'Independence Day.' I have to admit that I love that movie as a guilty pleasure. I almost wanted to stick with the movie instead of the awards. My favorite part of 'ID4' (the most senseless abbreviation ever) is when Will Smith punches an alien, shouting "Welcome to Earf!"

Speaking of Will Smith, it would have been great if, when they showed Sidney Poitier's family, Will Smith was sitting over there with them.

If you get that joke, then I love you all the more.

And that concludes the FadeIn Oscar coverage.

I've reduced my coffee intake to a little less than half a pot daily. So, I've been up for over two hours, and I'm still clearing out the cobwebs. I am steadfastly resisting alternative forms of caffeine, such as chocolate, aspirin, and licking the inside of the coffee pot.

Normally on Mondays, I offer the Weekend Improv Report. I'm not too sure whether anything from this last class bears repeating, though. It was all fine and good, but nothing in particular stood out.

I did go see 'Baby Wants Candy' again on Saturday, this time with a group of people. You might recall from my Saturday entry that 'BWC' is a group that improvises an hourlong musical based on a suggestion of a title. Saturday night, the title suggestion was 'Beasts of Babylon.'

It was during their performance that I realized what sums up improv for me: Bees on a stick.

Bees on a stick are a tasty snack that street vendors in ancient Mesopotamia sold from their ancient Mesopotamian carts. According to one of the performers, they taste "crunchy."

I like to think about bees on a stick. Are they alive or dead? Have their stingers been removed? Are they held in place by some kind of substance? Honey, perhaps?

Bees on a stick, they boggle my mind.