Thursdays aren't particularly exciting down on the JC set. I only stay until about 7pm or so, because they're just rehearsing. The real action happens on Fridays, when the live audience is in the studio and the adrenalin is high. All I got out of yesterday is that Burns and Smithers (of 'The Simpsons' fame, as I hope to God you know) are named after James L. Brooks (exec. producer) and Richard Sakai (producer/writer).

Brooks = Burns

Sakai = Smithers

See how that works? I kind of feel bad for Sakai. And myself. Sometimes a tasty little nugget like that is all you pick up from a day on the set.

I am far overdue to do laundry. That is why the blue and white checkered boxers I'm wearing today have a hole in them about as big as my left buttock. They are the auxiallary boxers, called into service for just such a situation.

Because my boxers look so bad, I just know that today will be the day I'm forced to remove my pants for some odd reason.

Director: Bill, it looks like the actor we hired to play that small role won't be able to make it today. You have an acting background, right? Go to wardrobe and get fitted.

Bill: Ummm...

Right now, the biggest vice I am battling is the way I spend money. I am a restaurant addict. I'd always rather go out to eat or order food than make it myself. It just tastes better when you pay someone to make it and hand it to you. So, I've decided to operate on the premise that i have no money at all, which is difficult, since I do. I just got a couple grand from my student loans, because the amount of aid I recieve is higher than my tuition. I could return it, but, instead, I keep it. I would guess that at least a good 20% of it goes to eating out. If I continue to spend at this rate, I will become the most well-fed homeless man in Chicago.

Homeless Bill: Hmm, a night's shelter, a bottle of MadDog 20/20, or Thai Cashew Chicken with a Crab Rangoon appetizer?

No contest.

The point of all this, in case you were scrolling down furiously, wondering when I would let you leave, is that I have a bit of cash to spend. I am going to allow myself one splurge.

I am accepting suggestions.

The only rule is that it cost less than $100.

I was thinking maybe a webcam. Am I really ready for that level of geekdom? I am not sure.

So, I therefore request that you submit your ideas for my self-indulgence. Sign my guestbook, email it to me, send a carrier pigeon. Exactly what sector of the economy should I assist by blowing the Biz-enjamin?

Or, if anyone can figure out a way to parlay twentyfive hundred bucks into an amount ten times higher, I'd be glad to hear that too.