Why is it that whenever I watch a new Saddam tape I think of the movie "Weekend at Bernie's"?

There's a new country song by Clint Black. It's called Iraq and I Roll.

Classy.

You know, I think we're all well aware that Hollywood would never exploit a popular recent news event for profit, but I really think there should be a made for TV movie about former POW Jessica Lynch.

I mean, just think about it. It has everything. Suspense. Drama. Violence. Intrigue. A triumph of the indomitable human spirit. A man she loves. A baby.

Well, not really those last two, but they can be tossed in there as well.

I also think she should appear on Oprah, but Oprah just isn't interested in stories about strong women overcoming seemingly insurmountable odds.

You really don't need a subscription to Variety to simply know that there are at least a dozen hacks within a ten mile radius of where I'm sitting that are feverishly working on their treatments for the Jessica Lynch story, each of them with their own varied spins on her and her plight.

My version includes a talking, purple alien koala named "Zeeboo."

And, in news that I hope to be repeating more often here, interested Los Angelinos who are looking for me on Monday, April 7th at 8pm will find me at the IOWest, where I will be performing on stage some improvised make'em-ups.

It's not lame-o stand up, and there are no drink minimums.

Do drop by.