How in the bloody hell do you people do it?

Now, I'm not asking for or expecting any sympathy. My ride on the unemployment train has been long and comfortable, with frequent visits to the snack station, and now that I'm off and at the stop, I deserve to have my ass kicked around a bit. But, really...has life always been a series of half hour breaks in between other stuff you have to go do? You wake up with that little sliver of time for coffee, email, a shower, go to work, come home and you have an hour to eat and relax before it's off to the next thing.

Clearly, this life is not for me. My life needs to consist of sleeping in (modestly) late, walking around half dressed for most of the day, brief spurts of creativity in between checking to see what TiVo is up to, before wandering off for a run or a chat with the other homebound residents of my building.

Thankfully, working in a dentist's office is a powerful motivator.

On the plus side, I'm not entirely sure if I've done one thing correctly at my temp job since I started.

It would have helped if we had been trained.

This dentist's office has not yet been acquainted with the internet. As a result, I spend most of my downtime looking through patient's files to find the more interesting cases. One woman is "allergic to metal." A surprising amount of people admit to their dentists that they have venereal diseases. Not one patient has yet admitted to using cocaine, but I'm hopeful.

When I realized I could modify files, I decided on a random basis that one patient suffered from "hysterical blindness," another "the vapors," and a third "often thinks she is a chicken."

To hear my dentist tell the tale, his profession attracts people that are "the scum of the earth." These are his words. I suppose he should know, having spent a good portion of yesterday morning on an office phone repeating the phrase "I will not go to court! No! I refuse to go to court for this!"

Week in review:

Tuesday: Heather returned and gave me her first full night back in town, which was quite nice. The evening included pizza, coffee, catching up, and general merriment. She brought me trinkets from London, which I enjoyed greatly, and I gifted her with Welcome Home Chocolate, which was promptly thrown on the huge pile of chocolates already in her living room and is set to be finished being consumed circa March 2004.

Wednesday: The evening included shooting a promotional video for my improv team, to be shown pre-show. Any night that involves nearly being arrested in a Los Angeles subway, simulated oral sex, simulated urination, and simulated homelessness (none of which even had anything to do with the near-arrest), all captured on film, is my idea of a very good time. There was then a late dinner, which was excellent, as my improv training is fast coming to an end, and I'd very much like to maintain my friendships with this group of people. Mad "ups" to J-Dog for directing and keeping this piece street.

Thursday: A full day of dental fun, a quick jaunt home to scarf down a Hot Pocket (no, no tots), then improv class. Afterward, we were all invited out for someone's birthday, and there was much begging off as it was a school night. The group is getting together tonight, so we can fete her properly and get properly inebriated. We would have done the same either way. I ended up falling asleep in my living room at midnight while watching TV before my roommate nudged me off to bed.

Friday: Today's a half day for me, as when it rains, it pours. I have some sort of nebulous, hastily arranged job interview this afternoon through my alumni coordinator with a production company in Hollywood. I'm also told my chances of getting hired at a local restaurant are quite good if I drop by today and corner a manager. When it all shakes out, I'm not sure if I'll be able to go to both, so now I feel like like I have a decision coming up in a few hours that's going to affect the next few months of my life.

Do I choose to get "inside" and work long hours, clawing my way up the ladder at a production house that has a secured three picture deal somewhere, or do I make $500 a week working three shifts at a restaurant while sending out headshots that are going to be immediately tossed into a trash can 98% of the time?

I hate to say this, but, whichever way I go, I long for some semblance of routine. I want to just flash forward to a week from now and have it be done.

Either way, I'm hoping that my days of dodging subpoenas at the dentist's office will soon be over.