So, I was walking by my mirror this morning, and, taking a look upon my visage, I was suddenly inspired to do an impromptu self portrait. I grabbed a white napkin from my coffee table and a nearby pen and sketched myself out in about 30 seconds. Pleased with my work, I considered scanning my napkin art, but then decided that doing a second version in Photoshop would be easier. So, working from the original napkin, I hereby present to you 'Bill as Bill sees Bill.'

Apparently, I think I look like Fred from Scooby Doo.

I admit that it's not entirely accurate. That's an exaggerated, kingly jawline if ever I saw one, and I know I gots a lot more forehead. Also, I am not really as jagged. The napkin version was better.

Well, because I'm part of a clandestine society, I saw 'Ali' last night. You civilians will have to wait until Christmas Day. I'll spare you any sort of unqualified overall review, but I will tell you that Will Smith was excellent. For the most part. As I was watching him, I felt like I was begging for an Oscar quality performance. Unfortunately, Will Smith being Will Smith, he tended to lapse into his own personality occasionally, upstaging his own acting and pulling the audience out of the performance.

He was great as Ali, and when he was on, he was right on. So right on. If only he had exercised a bit more restraint. He'll be nominated for the Oscar, but there will be justification if they don't give it to him.

Speaking of the Oscars, what is with those commercials for 'The Majestic'? I have never seen a more cloying, cynical, pansy-ass ad campaign. What, they can't simply show clips from the movie edited together for an interesting thirty seconds? Jim Carrey has to give an overly sincere interview, saying that this movie is "About how to be a man. About real heroes"? Good Lord. Fuck the fuck off. I had a free pass to that shmaltzfest too, skipped it, and now feel more than justified. The next natural step for commercials in this vein is to have a crying six year old girl say that God is going to kill her puppy unless people come see a movie.

Clearly, the Jim Carrey to Tom Hanks transmogrification is nearly complete. The next to be cloned will be Luke (Owen? Whichever) Wilson or Freddy Prinze Jr., mark my words.

Tomorrow night, I go see a special preview of 'The Shipping News.' I feel confident that it can't be bad, even though Kevin Spacey has been worrying me lately (The Big Kahuna, Pay It Forward...I'd wager that K-Pax was also cause for concern, even though I haven't seen it). Sally likes to do an "imitation" of 'Pay It Forward.' She tilts her head to the side, frowns, and gets this look on her face like she cares so very, very much.

Yeah, that about sums it up.

Hey, snow!