n o w p l a y i n g - s c r i p t b i n - f a n c l u b - s t u d i o

make love to the camera



January 23, 2003 - 9:11 am

Panamian Schooooonah

Someone came here yesterday by searching on Google for "how can I make my toenails grow."

Later, there was a Google search for "I swallowed some Listerine."

Perhaps they found their solution.

Not that I would complain about now residing in Los Angeles (which is something all of you know I would never, ever do) but, man: Didn't there seem to be a lot more juice coming out of the ol' FadeIn spigot when I was in Chicago? I fear perhaps that my days of sitting in the shadows of palm trees, soaking up warm breezes, while nubile young starlets rub my belly and whisper soothing things to me has dulled my internet pen.

Either that, or I'm bored. Maybe I need to go break another jar of garlic, or pick a fight with some furniture, or harass a Ukranian child. I can easily combine all three.

One good thing: I've been hanging out with someone new, lately. A new she, to be precise. This hanging out has resulted in much fun and goodness, as she is cool and interesting.

She can also pilot small planes, which is going to be super helpful whenever we are in the jungles of Panama being pursued by Columbian drug lords after stealing sacred relics from Aztec temples being guarded by the Ecuadorean tribesmen.

Those South Americans are all about the racial harmony, I tell you what.

I must alight, as I have finally surrendered to the Temporary Employment Industrial Complex and must be interviewed this morn.

She really can fly planes. I've been advised against becoming a rock star or minor political figure, as small plane + some fame = impending death.

I'll be careful.

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