Guess what? Due to a massive ingestion of turkey and the tryptophan contained therein, I have been asleep since Wednesday afternoon. During that time I had many odd dreams related to bodily functions (the smell of anus, particularly), John Cusack, and Chinese food. It is best if no one asks for any explanation.

Midge says that my diary's sole purpose is to make girls fall in love with me.

Well, duh.

Now I have to go purchase materials so I can do some lame art project for math class. There is no joke there. Math class is a cold, hard, slap of reality.