n o w p l a y i n g - s c r i p t b i n - f a n c l u b - s t u d i o

make love to the camera



February 05, 2003 - 9:07 am

OK, Buddy?

Oh my God! I'm writing an entry!

Is anyone else watching The Colin Powell Bot give his rousing speech to the UN? I've seen mail delivered in a more exciting way. I'm surprised that the Security Council hasn't just said "Fine! Go to war! Kill them all! Just please stop making us listen to your voice!"

Man, when I was a kid, I remember reading in history books about Congressmen who attacked each other with canes during debates and Russian leaders who banged their shoes on tables just to make a point. Where are those days? Powell should at least break out into a song.

I love the evidence, too. The phone call, especially. As if they couldn't get two Arabic speaking shmoes to record whatever they wanted.

Then again, you can't write stuff like what they presented. This is a short transcript of one of the phone calls between an Iraqi Captain and a Colonel.

Capt: Hello?

Col: Hello?

Capt: Who is this?

Col: Ibrahim, who's this?

Capt: Hello?

Col: Hello???

Capt: How are you?

Col: I'm OK, how are you?

Capt: Good, God willing!

Col: How are you?

Capt: God preserve you.

Col: Hello.

Capt: Hello.

Capt: Hello???

That is not too far from what Colin Powell presented as evidence. The phone call continued in that Wacky Iraqi way for several more lines until the Captain got to the point:

Capt: OK. Write this down.

Col: OK.

Capt: Destroy...

Col: Destroy...

Capt: ...the stuff...

Col: ...the stuff...

Capt: ...that says 'Nerve gas.'

Col: 'Nerve gas.'

Capt: ...that says 'Nerve gas.'

Col: ...that says.

Capt: OK, buddy?

Col: OK!

This surely is damning evidence. It's a good thing they keep those F-16's under lock and key at military bases, because after hearing this recording, I was ready to grab one and go drop some bombs on whatever piles of sand our President thought best. Seriously, though, this phone call is chilling...scary and sobering for the question it inevitably raises:

The Iraqis say 'buddy'?

Does anyone else think that, if we were really hellbent on going to war, that going through the UN was a dumb move? I mean, if we had just gone in there and attacked back when we felt like it, the war would be over by now, Hussein would be gone and his people free, and most leaders in the Middle East would be secretly happy. We would have had to endure some recrimination from France and Germany, but it's not like they'd still be pissy.

And I don't think that your average disenfranchised Muslim that's already one grainy Al Qaeda recruitment video away from blowing his feet off in an airplane bathroom is going to sanely evaluate our actions over the last few months and say to his chums "Well, guys, they did go through the Security Council. Maybe we should get some jobs instead of running around this playground in the desert playing Holy Warrior and consider not blowing ourselves up for Allah on the word of some freakishly tall trust fund brat."

To which his friends would reply: Hello?

Seriously, it like, totally sucks that we didn't just go to war sooner because now it's too late and I was so looking forward to MTV's Spring Break: Baghdad.

Last Time On FadeIn - Next Week's Show

i am one bad updater:

enter email to find out when i update. powered by notifylist.com