n o w p l a y i n g - s c r i p t b i n - f a n c l u b - s t u d i o

make love to the camera



July 12, 2004 - 11:05 pm

Looking Out For The Little Guy

I did a bad thing.

I have a younger brother named Barry. Barry is the baby of the family, and he doesn't get a lot of ink on these pages, mostly because of the whole living 1700 miles apart thing. When your family is far away across the country, it doesn't make for many good anecdotes that don't include the phrase "and we got drunk on Christmas."

I unleashed something on Barry that many people think they want, and even more of them deserve. Something dark. Something evil. Something that pays 36 cents a mile.

I made Barry a Production Assistant.

The boy I called Little BearBear, or alternatively, Noodles (when he was a kid, he loved him some noodles), the boy whose fondest desire as a kid was to play for the NBA and be Wonder Woman (yeah...Barry is an interesting heterosexual) the boy who was relatively innocent until I got involved, that boy...that golden boy just called me an hour ago and said "The executive producer on my show is an asshole. I didn't eat until 7pm tonight. Fifteen hour day! Some of the camera people were really nice, though. Thank God this is only a ten day shoot."

"Ah, Barry," I said. "Welcome to television, and I'm sorry."

It happened thusly: I saw an ad on Craigslist for a PA position for a reality show that's shooting in and around Chicago. I sent Barry's resume, knowing that he'd never see the ad or do it himself if I told him about it. Barry is one of those rare people who just don't bother with the internet. It's not that he's dumb or scared of computers, it's just that he doesn't care for them. He'd like to learn how to download music and burn CDs, but otherwise he can't be bothered.

He visited mapquest.com for the first time today.

Barry is 25.

Weeks went by, then they called him and hired him over the phone. The production assistant "experience" on his resume was (wickedly) stretched (under my advice) from a short low budget film where he

- Helped Friend Hold Camera

which I modified to

- Assisted office and field production staff and crew in all aspects of show preparation from call sheets, runs, scripts and contracts to miscellaneous errands.

No one goes to hell for lies like that.

On Sunday, the night before he started, he called me up and asked me what he could expect, told me he was worried about his lack of computer skills, and obviously was in need of a bit of reassurance.

I told him that he wouldn't know what the hell was going on, was going to feel like he tricked them into hiring him, and would definitely feel like he was going to be fired any moment.

He laughed, and then I said "No, really."

Then I told him that everyone feels that way on their first real film or tv job, and not to worry about it. But he was too busy to worry. And he was having a good time.

It feels good to do something cool and help someone get a job. Especially family. The poor kid was having a hard time finding something, and was taking odd jobs like painting or babysitting his friends grandfather overnight. Yeah, so it was nice to push him in this direction, and maybe now he can use this experience to get commercial work for himself.

Also, I get to use him for contacts.

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