I had wild sex with three bisexual strippers last night.

Oh, wait...are people still coming here from Quoted? I better stop trying to make myself sound more interesting than I really am.

I'm still getting over the fact that, the other day, our president actually said "Let's roll." I don't think presidents should be allowed to say "Let's roll," unless they are B-List stars in corny 80's movies starring Lou Gosset Jr. If a president ever again does in fact utter that phrase, it should be immediately followed by an insanely loud outburst of a hair-metal anthem.

I mean, imagine how much more powerful it would have been if Bush had said "Let's roll!" and suddenly a four piece glam band appeared on stage in a puff of smoke. They would have begun to rock out, the crowd would have went nuts, and then we would see a montage of F-16s taking off from aircraft carriers, complete with lots of people running around and waving their arms. Once the song was over, and the planes were in the air, we would be treated to a little friendly banter before the wise old black fighter pilot told the young white whippersnapper fighter pilot just how serious the situation is and that "There's no turning back now."

Now that's presidential, I tells you.

Ah, the party I went to Friday night. There are no particularly amusing anecdotes that were generated that night. Sally thought some chick was giving her the googly eye. I questioned my pal Nick's masculinity when he showed me an elaborate construction paper decoration of a tropical scene he made for his bedroom window which prominently featured a turtle he "just made today." Live hip hop broke out in the dining room, which wasn't exactly my cup of tea, but was interesting to see live anyway.

Then, we went home and I woke up yesterday with a hangover that had me praying for death. And, my activities last night were actually pretty much the polar opposite of bisexual stripper sex: I ordered a pizza, played video games, and did my best not to move.

It was great, really.