n o w p l a y i n g - s c r i p t b i n - f a n c l u b - s t u d i o

make love to the camera



December 18, 2001 - 11:19 am

Anything Involving Fried Potatoes

The United States has been bombing my apartment building non-stop for days because Osama bin Laden is reportedly holed up in the engineer's office. It is starting to get really annoying.

You know, this whole New Singlehood is all fine and good, except for the 'no sex' clause. I forgot that was part of the deal. It's a good thing I don't own any pets.

Speaking of people breaking up, I simply can't believe the news about Tom Green and Drew Barrymore! Wow! If they can split, anyone can. What's next? Could something come along that shatters the rock-solid foundation of Billy Bob Thornton and Angelina Jolie? Could something tear asunder the fairy-tale romance of David Arquette and Courtney Cox?

It's a very scary world we live in.

I had this bizarre daydream the other day. I imagine that I go to sleep and wake up with my current mind and memories in my six year old body in 1981. I then proceed to freak out my parents and grade school teachers by asking questions like "Hey, has Reagen been shot yet?" I tell my parents the neighborhoods in which they should buy property, and what companies in which they should invest. I tell my dad to lay off the smoking and drinking lest he likes the idea of dying relatively young. I wonder whether I should avert disasters by informing the government of them beforehand, then I wonder if they would eventually try to dissect me.

This is what happens to me when I take public transportation and forget my book. Possible screenplay? Hmm. Oh, wait. 'Peggy Sue Got Married.' Damn.

Well, there is obviously nothing of import happening in my life. I'm on Christmas break from school, finally. That's good. I've had to turn down two temp jobs because of scheduling conflicts. That's bad. I'm going to see a special free sneak preview of 'Ali' tonight. That's good. I have purchased a total of one Christmas present. That's bad. After 'Ali' I'll be helping Sally make Hanukkah latkes. That's good.

Anything involving fried potatoes is good.

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