I think I'll go cash my unemployment check and get a haircut today.

You know you want me.

Good Lord, almighty, I need a job. James, how did you trick people into paying you so much for such a dumb job?

I was talking to a performer at the IO the other night. He just fell ass-backward into a job at Fox writing promos. He said he had been unemployed for seven months prior.

When I heard that, I thought to myself "Man, I sure hope my unemployment doesn't last seven months." Then I thought a little bit more...

Fired from ATJ in early December. DecemberJanuaryFebruaryMarchAprilMay. Bloody hell. I'm getting there. With the exception of a few weeks of temping here and there, I have been perpetually unlucky in the job search department.

Game show network, here I come.

New theory! Maybe, no matter how nice and cool they seem about it at first, girls aren't too enthralled with boys that can't seem to find permanent gigs. I know, I know. It's radical, but I believe I have collected evidence that points to this conclusion.

This theorem does make me a bit apprehensive about a current romantic prospect.

A few weeks ago, I wrote about how I sat in on an improv class that was not my own. In the class was a girl named Laurence, who I am going to call Larry from here on in, because it is amusing to call a girl Larry.

Anyway, Larry isn't my type. She's tall and blond, and, with rare exceptions, I go for the short brunettes. I wasn't attracted to Larry at first. I don't know what changed, but, over the course of the three hours I was there, my position completely reversed. It may not have been her talent, and she is talented, as much as the way she moved onstage. It was odd. By the end of the class I was thinking to myself "It is so wrong that this woman and I are not touching."

And I seemed to be getting the sense that ol' Lar felt the same way. If you've ever had a bit of chemistry with another person, you know the way those feelings begin to manifest themselves. There were mutual surreptitious glances. Eye contact that lingered through that one extra meaningful moment. We've all felt this, and these signals were in full effect throughout the class.

Then there was the scene we did together, in which we found every excuse we could to touch, hug, or otherwise make contact.

And after class there was the flirting and the smiling.

So, right. Larry = interesting. There's a bit of chemistry there, for sure, but there are also some impediments.

The first is my general reluctance to date right now, though that's kind of fading. Like anyone else, I'd love to meet a cool new person with whom to hang out and have fun. There's just no way that I'm actively seeking that out right now. The thought of browsing the Salon personals again and deciding whether to talk to someone based on what books or music they like turns my stomach.

The second is that it's an Improvolympic thing. That theater is the most important place in Los Angeles to me, and I worry that if I were to start up some kind of romantic relationship through it, it could potentially taint the experience. It's like dating someone where you work.

And the third goes back to my previously stated theory.

Sunday, after class, Larry gets up and says she has an announcement to make. I figure she's going to say she has a standup gig everyone should come check out, or has a show somewhere, or is throwing a party. Something like that. Instead:

"Hey, guys...if you aren't busy tomorrow night, you might want to watch [Major TV Network] at 8, because my writing partner and I wrote the season finale to [Major Network Show]."

I was pretty much blown away. She put in the time, fought in the trenches for three years, and is doing exactly what I came out here intending to do.

So, it feels a bit weird, because I, on the other hand, can't catch a break and am this close to picking up an application at Best Buy.

Normally, in this town, it's the out of work female actors who score by dating producers.

Sure, I'm confident when it comes to my looks, ability, and talent, but the question remains:

Am I qualified to be a Himbo?