The other day, I was reaching into my backpack. As a result, I got a long, nasty papercut at the base of my thumb on my left hand. I immediately declared it my "anthrax hole."

Good morning. I have to go to math class. Math class, for fuck's sake!

Most recent: Monday, the other writers and I discussed writing a fake final act of our show. See, when we finish an act, we sit down with the cast and crew and read through it together, just to see how it sounds out loud and put everyone on the same page. The thought of faking out all the dumb actors with scenes that make no sense is mighty appealing. We may or may not do this. I hope we do. I envision a scene between Denise and Fisher, two professors who, throughout the episode, have been having a minor disagreement. I think in the fake scene, I'll have Denise stab Fisher. As he lays dying:

FISHER: Why, Denise? Why...?

DENISE: (GRINNING MANIACALLY) Don't worry about why, Fisher...the Taliban knows why.

Well, it's funny to us, you bastards.

Not as recent: Just this morning, Sally and I were discussing the embarassment we experienced the thursday night after September 11th. On the night the president addresses the nation after the worst terrorist act ever, during the address, what do we do? Of course, we go to Subway. The Pakastani sandwich artists looked at us with disbelief as the TV carried the president's speech, and we ordered footlong veggies on wheat. Sally said that she wanted to yell at them "We're taping it!" We were taping it, they didn't know, and we felt like bastards for seeming to care more about proper allotments of vinegar and oil than whatever ol' Bush had to say.

Least recent: I just remembered that, one time, I told my ex-girlfriend (the previously mentioned Betty) that I wouldn't be happy until I one day earned the title 'Best Human Ever.' She looked at me as if I had just kicked Christ in the nuts. She was very Christian, after all.

It really isn't so bad dating a Christian. Especially if they're not very good at it.

Math class...I still can't believe it. Bastards.