n o w p l a y i n g - s c r i p t b i n - f a n c l u b - s t u d i o

make love to the camera



December 11, 2002 - 1:24 pm

Chemistry Sets

�i like being young, poor, drunk, unapologetic, and in love.�

Right on, Elle. That phrase could kickstart a novel.

So, last night, I read through a few short stories from the McSweeney�s 7th anthology. Jonny bought it, and I assume he did because it came with an extra chapter of Kavalier and Clay. I don�t see any of the other McSweeney anthologies around here.

I read four or five of the stories. I now think that I have deduced the formula for what is currently considered great fiction. Take a few high-falutin� vocabulary words that no one but another writer would use, add some pathos, ramp up the importance of sex just a tad (and be jarringly crude when you do) and, Voila! Great literature!

Not that I didn�t love it all the same. But since when is Sad, Sad, Sad the only tone we can explore? And why is The Sad given so much credence?

Themes/main subjects in the stories I read: Bitch dying wife, bitch cheating wife, embracing mediocrity, the terror of adolescence and a nascent sexuality, the impact of physical shortcomings or being different.

Cheery.

I�m not saying literature shouldn�t be this way, or should be all pies and seltzer to the face, but I really do think that The Funny is overlooked. The Funny has just as much to teach us as The Sad. It�s just as much a part of being human.

I�m not saying that there are deep lessons for us all in �Happy Gilmore,� but I�m also not saying that there aren�t.

So, I�ve been fooling around with an internet personal ad for a while now. A friend of mine back home told me she had one, I looked into it, and I decided to get nutty with it. I went to Salon.com, signed up (you can probably find me if you put your mind to it) and since then I have been exchanging little e-notes with the lovely ladies of Los Angeles.

It was, in fact, how I met Edie.

Edie sent me a note:

�So, just moved here, huh? From where?

I'm originally from Minneapolis, so the fact that you love fall/winter is very endearing. I love them too and miss them very much.

Check out my profile, and if you want to go grab a drink or something, let me know what your e-mail is. My name is Edie. Talk to you soon.�

And the rest is history.

We did go and grab a drink. The conversation was good, she was pretty. We spent a few hours over a few beers, talking. Later, there was �Punch Drunk Love� and a drink. Soon after, pizza at her place.

That was the first and only night that we kissed. The kissing wasn�t bad, but after 10 or 15 minutes, it kind of dissolved into silly kissing. A few minutes later, we were on our feet, telling each other goodnight. The most we�ve done beyond that was some wine-fueled platonic cuddling.

We decided to be friends. While we liked each other just fine, the chemistry just wasn�t red hot. Becoming friends with her was one of the best things I�ve done since I moved to LA.

Edie: She�s as tall as me. She�s blonde and pretty, a former model, in fact. She has a deep, throaty voice, much like Laura Prepon of �That 70�s Show.� She�s smart and funny, and has one of the best decorated apartments I�ve ever seen. Her hallway has black fabric tacked into the ceiling that billows down in puffs, like dark clouds.

All in all, a very cool chick. We�re barbecuing on Friday.

I�ll be in Chicago Tuesday. Thank God.

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