n o w p l a y i n g - s c r i p t b i n - f a n c l u b - s t u d i o

make love to the camera



Jan 29 2001 - 3:37 pm

You Say You Want A Resolution

The other day, my girlfriend Sally and I were talking about my hair. This was unusual, as we usually spend ungodly amounts of time talking about her hair. What was not so unusual was that she was the one who brought up the topic of hair, even if it were mine.

"Time for a haircut," she ventured, eyeing the tangle on the back of my neck warily.

"Yeah, I know," I replied. "But I just want to let it grow to see just how bad it looks long. Besides," I continued, exercising what seemed to me to be impeccable logic, "why get a haircut?"

She looked at me for a moment before replying:

"You are so not gay."

Good call, babe. I love her.

Someone reminded me today that I never wrote the resolution to the story about my mom's house getting robbed. Well, a resolution there was, kids, and it even surprised the detectives investigating the case. For, you see, the burglar was eventually apprehended due to the prowess and obnoxious curiosity of a 56 year old woman.

My mom.

About two weeks or so after the robbery occured, my mom and her friend Judy went to a pawn shop a few blocks away from her (my mom's house) house. There, Lo and Behold, my mom found a few of her items. Unfortunately, nothing very important, like her wedding rings, but she did find an old ring of her uncle's and my dad's class ring.

The next day, my mom returned with a detective. The cop made the pawnbroker give my mom all the things she claimed were hers. When the cop went through the strore's records, he found (get this) that, as required by law, the guy who did the selling had to show ID. So, this shop owner had a photocopy of this 22 year old kid on file, who had been the fence for my mom's goods.

Bingo.

To get tangential for a moment, I'd just like to give a big 'fuck you' to all pawn shop owners. Fucking bottom feeding snakes. I'm pissed, because this asshole shop owner took my mom's jewelry off this 22 year old scumfuck. How heartless does a man have to be to fucking give a kid $50 for a wedding ring that obviously doesn't belong to him? Because that's what he gave the kid for my mom's wedding ring. And, do you know what this gem of a man did with it? Melted it down for scrap gold. That was the ultimate fate of the ring my mom had owned, that was given to her in love, over thirty years ago. So two fucked up pieces of shit could make a few fast dollars. Yeah, thank you, pawn shop owners of the world! I'm sure that's not what you all do, but those of you that do can all burn.

Back to the narrative: A few days passed, and then the cops went to the home of the man whose ID was found in the shop. Apparently, he hadn't performed the robbery himself, but had merely acted as the fence. The detectives put the pressure on this kid, and he rolled over on the burglar.

It turns out, for all of our worries about my younger brother's scummy friends, the burglary was essentially random. The man had committed four other burglaries in the neighborhood. He was on probation.

He's going to prison for 10-20 years.

And that much, at least feels good. It's not going to get my mom's rings back (and she can forget about the cash), but at least there's a bit of closure. A small justice. The cops said they were amazed that my mom got back even what she did. In cases like hers, this "never happens," they say.

All because my mom is curious, and does what she feels like, even if it means roaming through weird little pawn shops.

I love my mom, too.

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