So, I'm walking down the street on my way to school this morning, and I see America coming out of a Dunkin' Donuts. I got really excited, so I went right over to her. I probably ended up embarassing myself (I really couldn't think of much to say). Anyway, I go "Hey! America! Wow! I always wanted to meet you."

She looked like she was in a bit of a hurry, but she smiled and said "Well, here I am!"

I couldn't really come up with anything to say. I'd always thought of what I would do at this moment, but it all vanished. So, after a slightly awkward pause, I realized I had passed the Merchandise Mart this morning, with lots of different flags from lots of different countries hanging off of it.

"Hey, America. Remember how the British used to own this country, and we only got rid of them after a bloody and bitter war? Like, remember how we used to be a country that was awash in civil war, like so many countries that want to be new democracies are today?"

She was still smiling, but I could see in her eyes that she wanted me to get to the point.

"Anyway, isn't it kind of weird to see their flag flying in your country? I mean, they were once your mortal enemies."

She smiled sweetly and touched my elbow, saying "Oh, I am so over that."